What I'm Learning...

Moving two timezones from your family is obviously a big adjustment.  In less then one week I'll be back in Iowa, my FAVORITE place on earth (barely in front of Disneyworld...), with my favorite people (minus my husband and a few friends who have moved just as far away from Iowa as myself).

I'm struggling way less with living in California than I was even a few weeks ago, but it's not always easy! My first trip back to Iowa is in a week, so I've decided to do a reflection of what I've learned during the past five months about California, Iowa, Jon, Me, Relationships, Life, and anything else!  Please note that I'm totally aware that this is from MY point of view--I did not ask Jon for his opinion, thoughts, input, or advice on this one--so it will be completely biased :) Maybe I'll ask Jon to write what he's learned later... :/

Some of them are funny, some obvious, some positive, some negative, and some serious.  This is not meant to put down California, Iowa, marriage, or anyone or anything else.  I love everything and everyone in my life for different reasons.  This is just an honest description of life the past few months!

I have to apologize about the formatting---the template on Blogger wouldn't let me outline it the way I had hoped!

1. I am in the final stage of grief. Grief from being directly torn apart to everyone and everything that's comfortable, that's happening, and that's been my life for 23 years. Grief for losing my independence--it is no longer about MY wants, needs, hopes, and dreams, but will forever be about OUR (Jon and I) wants, needs, hopes, and dreams. You KNOW this is what it's going to be when you decide to get married, and this is what you CHOOSE when you decide to get married, but now it's the real deal, and no one can really truly prepare you for marriage--the good AND the bad. For all of you non-socio/psychology minded people, or anyone who just doesn't know, the five stages are: 
• Denial/Isolation 
• Anger 
• Bargaining 
• Depression 
• Acceptance--Yes, I've been through them all, and all I have to say to being in the acceptance stage is, "FINALLY!" Being in my situation and experiencing grief is immobilizing and makes you feel trapped!! You KNOW you shouldn't feel the way you do, but you feel that way anyway.  You KNOW you want to love the life you've been give, but you just can't. The freedom I feel is absolutely liberating.
2. What it's like to be the "new" girl. I am now truly aware of how it feels, and am ever so challenged to TRY to make an extra effort to be hospitable to ANYONE who is new to an environment that I am not.  I know this one sounds cliche and I almost didn't want to add it to the list, BUT, this has been probably the hardest part for me.  I moved quite a few times throughout college, but college is a special circumstance and you really aren't the "new" girl for long. You quickly make a name for yourself. I happened to still live in my home state near everyone and everything that was comfortable, thus making my "transfers" to different colleges much smoother.
3. "Pop" is called "Soda" here, and everyone laughs at you and says, "how cute," when you ask, "would you like a pop?" Funny because I think YOU'RE cute for saying, "soda." Anyways, I thought that was only in the south?! Apparently the entire west coast calls it "Soda" too.
4. I sleep and veg for comfort.  This is something that I KNEW about myself, but that I never fully admitted before.  I allowed myself to do this (and still sometimes will, as this is what I need to rejuvenate myself), but I have tried to take on a different awareness of this action.  I've tried to allow myself to do this only when my body NEEDS it, and instead consciously make an effort to be present and explore the other hobbies, interests, and desires I love or have always wanted to try.
5. Iowa really needs to get an "In-N-Out" burger, or SEVERAL.
6. People here really don't know the difference between Idaho, Iowa, and Ohio. Come on---did you pay attention in 6th grade?! So disappointing.
7. Marriage-hardest, yet most blessed, thing I've ever done-revealing too much about myself and my character. Constantly challenging/stretching one another.  My husbands best friend told us, "in marriage, the highs are higher, but the lows are lower." Any married person will tell you this, so I won't elaborate. 
8. We live in the Bicycle Capital of America, so you must, MUST, watch out for bikers when driving. Share the road people, share the road.
9. The fitness options are much more plentiful (obviously, it's nice weather all year long with more diverse landscapes), which we've finally gotten to start exploring!
10. Having control of your money and budget (thanks to Financial Peace University) allows one to  feel incredibly empowered and blessed.
11. The food here is so delicious. And, the options are endless. The plethora of tasty and FRESH foods constantly impresses me (and my taste buds).
12. They do NOT sell French (Western) dressing where we live.
13. There are NO Jimmy John's. BOO.
14. My husband tends to stand right in front of the TV during the most intense part of the show.  I never noticed this before.  I am one for letting your spouse be themselves, but I am DETERMINED to break this habit.
15. There are sadly not very many ma 'n pa ice cream shops.  Mostly frozen yogurt. Still tasty, but not as much fun as a million flavors of malts!
16. Northern California, as much as I hated to admit it, really is beautiful once you get away from the cities.  At times, it's absolutely breathtaking. Having the ocean, the mountains, the redwoods, San Francisco, and Lake Tahoe all within 2 hours driving distance is fantastic.
17. People do not usually J-walk. And although this is for good reason, it is hard for me!
18. The shopping here is fabulous.
19. The (country) roads absolutely suck here. 
20. I desperately miss my family and friends as well as the beautiful rolling hills of Iowa and the peace that it brings. NOTHING will ever replace that.
21. My dog has at times healed my heart! As cheesy as that sounds, I swear she can read my mind. 
22. I am humbled every day at the love my husband has for me. His encouragement, his sacrifice, and his effort. I am even more amazed at the grace of God and His plan. This is THE toughest thing Jon and I have ever done. Not just being married, but the whole move in general.  It is incredible to see how and even sometimes WHY (something not always easily determined) God put us together.  We balance each other so well at times, and other times....not so much. In both circumstances, what a blessing it is. We get to rejoice that God gave us each other, and rejoice that we're forced to compromise, be flexible, and give up ourselves for each other.
23. Wine Country rocks my world. 

Very much looking forward to my trip home, the celebrations that will take place during that time, and the hugs from missed family and friends. I'm so thankful for the journey of the past five months of my life.  Thanks to everyone who has supported Jon and myself, for that we owe you big time. Will some local wine and beer do? ;) Some new adventures are coming our way, and I'm excited to get to share them with all of you!